Reflections of Reunion

What a journey it’s been—being in reunion with my maternal biological mother and family. Since reconnecting digitally in 2019 and meeting in person in 2021, I’ve already been back to Peru three times. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m here. Ten years ago, I could never have imagined this.

When I think about my reflections… they come first as feelings: Whewww… ahhh… and Zzzzz. These sounds really do capture some of the biggest emotions I’ve felt in reunion. At times, there’s relief—finally having some answers. Other moments are a swirl of anxiousness and joy as I continue to integrate my mother, brothers, sisters, and even the land itself into my being and soul. And then there’s the Zzzzz—those days when I’m simply exhausted from the emotional work.

And honestly, I mean really tired. I’m a mom to two girls, ages nine and six, and life is already full. Some days, reunion work feels like one more thing I don’t have time for. It can be draining, and at times it naturally moves to the back burner.

Earlier this year, I started wondering about my biological father and his family. All I know is that he was much older than my mother and that he passed away. I don’t know much else—not even what he looked like. My curiosity about him is strong. Now that I feel more connected to Peru—its culture, its language—and have had a mostly positive experience with my maternal side, I can’t help but wonder what I might find if I search for his.

I know I’d likely discover more siblings, and for once, I wouldn’t be the oldest.

There’s so much I want to know… but I’m also aware that searching for my mother’s side has already been more eye-opening—and more stressful—than I expected. So if I decide to move forward in finding my father’s side, I know I’ll be stepping into a whole new world of unknowns and potential challenges.